***Since this article’s original creation, approximately four months ago, it is with the most purest of joy in my heart and soul that I report to ya’ll that it appears the shitstorm has ended, or at least taken a hiatus…and love and light, have truly prevailed. I originally had no intention of publishing this as I never wish to fan a flame. I honestly have zero desire to recreate waves, especially now since there is peace in the valley, so to speak. Recent events of a personal and mind-blowing, positive nature have led me to the decision of pressing that publish button. Not that I wish for one moment to reopen old wounds or rehash the past, but simply because this piece is a part of my life, and for better or for worse, I will not edit my life, for it is truth, and truth is me. To those who’ve weathered the storm, I love you and am truly glad that each of you who choose to be, remain a vital piece of my very existence. Much love…truly*** ~Heather xoxoxo
This was originally written about 2+ weeks ago after I was literally thrown under a bus by some vile individuals. I’ll not use the term “humans” to describe them as it certainly wasn’t warranted by their behavior. It was shelved then resurrected last night, as the cluster fuck continued on.
You see, after a 20 year hiatus, I’ve started to scribe again, much against my instinct, (shit was I ever wrong on that one). FATE led me here and after nearly deleting my account numerous times, I now have a concise understanding of why I am on Twitter, let alone here at all.
This being one of only my first few pieces of writing after a nearly 20 year hiatus, I accept your skepticism, in fact I welcome it.
Rumors flitting this way and that way. None of which I care to address in any such detail at the current time. I honestly couldn’t give a rat’s ass regarding your ravenous appetite for disclosure. Not a single one of you is privy to this information nor should you be. In fact what I have observed lately reminds me of a game I played in grade school. We called it telephone. Ring a bell? Well it should, especially for some of you. While these things may appear harmless in the beginning make no mistake, the rumormongers are analogous to the descent of a thousand vile, putrid blood sucking vampire bats, thirsting for their next juicy meal of crimson. I may be new around RoG but I am not gullible and I’m certainly not fucking blind, deaf, nor illiterate. I see all, and what I have seen in recent weeks from some of you, brings a shot of bile straight to the back of my throat.
You see, it’s become woefully apparent to me that in recent weeks, I seem to have developed a bulls-eye of cruor right smack dab in the middle of my forehead from numerous sources. Still I carry on and I will continue to thrive. I pay zero attention to the annoying white noise in the background of MY life. Occasionally a specific comment may snag my attention for an ever fleeting moment, but make no mistake, I shrug your bullshit off before I’ve even finished reading it. The up flip of the script, goes like this…. Whenever someone genuinely and wholeheartedly emanates positivity, it invigorates me and the light which I carry within shines so brightly it is inextinguishable. It’s the most basic of principles to grasp really. Pay it forward with love and illumination, and your fuse will be sparked as well.
Prose littered with narcissism abounds and the majority, with few exception are incapable of envisioning the future of the Rivers of Grue. You’ve lost all sight of why this was started in the first place. RoG was not created to encourage competition of any kind. Your tunnel vision is filled with feeble-minded narcissism, which contain delusions of grandeur and are utterly flooded with paranoia.
In the beginning, I was “welcomed,” overwhelmed by what my child like eyes, deceived me to be, open arms filled with love, into the TOK and ROG families. This brood appeared to be such a wonderous seemingly close-knit “family.” With regard to some individuals, their sincerity remains steadfast and true. I was seemingly encouraged and supported by those I held in high regard, and considered close to my heart. While this remains solidly true for some writers of RoG, what a crock of shit it is with respect to specific others. Unbeknownst to me there was already a bit of unrest in the rivers prior to my surfacing. In addition, I inadvertently and unknowingly upset an imaginary balance and was completely ostracized, my internal organs strung about for the world to gape at. Amazing what transpires when a newbie becomes a perceived threat and that is precisely what occurred on multiple levels.
My cognizance of RoG IS that it was and still IS, a COMMUNITY. Once again folks, perhaps it’s time to bust out those dictionaries and refresh those cerebellums with what the true definition of community is. Community implies JOINT OWNERSHIP, and any thriving community embraces such a practice. Community, ” UNIFIED population composed of various types of individuals, sharing a COMMON interest.” What I have witnessed does not begin to come to close to unification, nor joint ownership, with very little exception.
I may be, the “newbie” here in town and believe me, I do possess the ability to understand what that means to some of you, but make no mistake, I am nobody’s fucking doormat, nor shall I ever be. As I mentioned in my first published piece I said I was here to stay, and I meant it. I was not “placed” here to love and cherish when it suits your fancies, to help you get your rocks off, or to gain the attention you so incessantly seek from certain individuals. Do not ever think for the slightest of moments that I will endorse, nor tolerate your attempts at causing me any pain by digging those spiked heels some of you seem to adore so much, yet likely couldn’t stuff your plumpened feet into. I have never taken kindly to bullies and I certainly don’t intend to start now. Take me or leave me, love me or despise me, your opinions matter not. I scribe with the conviction of a thousand assassins and not a single one of you will ever be capable of halting that.
You display such hypocrisy that it sickens the stomach. Using your thinly veiled, sometimes even translucent attempts to inflict pain upon one another, then refer to it as “writing.” I keep shit real, always telling it I see it. Honestly, attempting to run off anyone you perceive to be a potential threat, is the approach of true cowards. It also goes against the very reason that ROG was formed. Is it truly so difficult to LOVE one another?
The most benign of souls has created a haven for us, for ALL of us. A place of censorship-free tranquility, to express our deepest and most creative selves. A safe place to rest our weary souls and to lean on each other, to support and to share common interests with one other. I’m certain it was not built to endorse any sort of competition in any way, shape or form. So knock off the petty bullshit and show this site the love and devotion that it truly deserves. Build your fellow scribes up with TRUE and GENUINE encouragement, without any expectations implied. In case you’ve failed to notice, his most recent pieces have undergone a significant metamorphosis, are scribed with the utmost integrity (as always) and are absolutely fucking phenomenal. Not that they haven’t been before, but damn, the bombs being dropped lately are fucking mind-blowing! I’m sure you are all aware well aware that he could easily stand on his own two feet with ease, yet he makes a conscious and vigilant effort to spread the love and extend his outstretched open arms to each of you. Will you accept? I beg of you now, erase the hate and cease trying to pathetically build your own esteem by tearing down that of others. It always backfires in the end anyway. I know I can happily accept what I see when I look in the mirror, the question is, can you…..
Love is most crucial to the survival of all humankind that dwell on this planet. Will you spread real love or will you choose to depress the self-destruction button……I for one, will always choose love.
You dazzle my soul, with your smile you devour, Our mortality may well be fleeting, But true love finds a way if sufficient in power, Regardless of hearts ceasing beating.
Embalmed and restrained on that mortuary slab, All life drained away from your shell, All suffering ceased you finally have, Release from your personal hell.
Need blood? Here then take it, I’ll never forsake it, Drink freely until you are stronger, Quench as long as you need, it’s crucial you feed, I’ll bleed ’til I can so no longer.
Should you need to bite, I’ll not put up a fight, Sink your teeth without fear of reprisal, Should my last breath be sucked from my lungs on this night, Then you’ll welcome me on my arrival.
As our bodies weather, eroding together, We’ll feel death in…
